90 Day Self Transformation Project – Day 31 – Setting Core Values

I finally got my 2020 planner in. I picked one that was goal oriented and it is a lot to fill out. There is a core values section, and I struggled with core values so much in the therapy last year too.

I like the idea of establishing core values. It takes a certain amount of self awareness to develop them. 

After much research, I set my core values as follows:

  • Balance 
  • Love
  • Security and Stability 
  • Achievement and determination
  • Family and Friendship
  • Justice 
  • Wisdom 
  • Spirituality 
  • Loyalty 
  • Personal Fulfilment 

Now I have to start setting goals which is hard when your depressed. It is hard to battle that inner voice saying you are failure why should you set goals. I am determined to complete the self awareness and goals section of the planner. I did spend $30 on this planner so I want to get my use out of it. 

I had to take a step back from my weight loss plan to focus on my mental health. I feel like I am getting back on track and will meal prep this weekend and plan my workout schedule. I need to get my sleep schedule back on track too. I have only been getting about 6 hours in the last couple of days.

Today I am grateful for my husband, my job and stability. 

90 Day Self Transformation Project – Days 29-30 – 2020

Happy New Year! My new year started with very little fanfare. Friends came over for dinner and a game night. 

I baked chicken wings instead of frying them and apparently, the secret is aluminum free baking powder. They were really good!

I had taken a break during the holidays from work and a little from my diet changes. I didn’t sway too much. No binge eating which is shocking! I am now back on the transformation train and I also have one big new year’s resolution. I am going to skip the week 4 check in and will give myself time to restart. 

I am going to do a low spend year, not a complete no spend though. I tend to compensate from one rush to another. So instead of eating food especially sugar to get a rush, I have been spending quite a bit. 

This year I will set the following rules:

  • No new clothes unless I need to replace a staple item. 
  • I can buy gifts for others within reason 
  • No limits on food 
  • No new types of makeup or skincare, only replacing
  • Definitely no new movies, books or magazines. I have so many books, some that I haven’t even read yet. 
  • No extra coffee or drinks unless out with friends or family
  • I can still do one self care activity a month and will still get my rewards if I hit my weight goals. 

I finally got my planner so will be working to get that started too and plan some more detailed goals. 

I am grateful for the new year and new opportunities.

90 Day Self Transformation Project – Days 26-28 – Dealing with Depression

Last night I had a realization that my depression was back. Usually I get very numb when depressed but this time my depression is mostly anger which has been very hard to manage. Everything puts me in a bad mood. Everything feels like a crisis. 

I am treating every relationship in my life like a burden. Thankfully, I have a very forgiving friends who understand depression. Even admitting to myself that my depression is back has changed my attitude some. At least I recognize where the anger and feelings are coming from and can accept it. 

I called several therapists this morning to try to get a new appointment and until then, I am practicing DBT with my old workbooks. 

Dialectical Behavior Therapy was helpful in the past and I spent over a year in intensive therapy learning new skills to deal with my mental illness. So I can definitely manage my depression again. I think I needed to finally accept that it is back and address it head on. 

I want to stay on track on my transformation goals and my goals will help manage my depression.

My biggest hurdle will be managing my relationship with my husband while being depressed. I have never had a major depression episode since we got married and were living together. I don’t want to ruin our relationship or impact his mental health too much either. 

I am grateful for acceptance.

Simple All Purpose Cleaner

In an effort to use less chemicals, I have been trying to homemade all purpose cleaner. I wanted something fairly simple. 

This is my very simple all purpose cleaner and it works pretty well on most surfaces. I like to let it sit for at least 30 minutes before using so the rosemary can really infuse with the liquids. It’s also really pretty to just leave out on the counter or table. 

 

 

 

Ingredients:

1 Clear spray bottle

White Vinegar

Water

30 drops Essential Oils 

1 Rosemary Spring

Directions:

  1. Add the rosemary spring to the spray bottle. 
  2. Add equal parts vinegar and water 
  3. Add drops of essential oil. I went with lavender for this bottle. 
  4. Let sit for 30 minutes then use as needed. 

90 Day Self Transformation Project – Days 24-25 – Week 3 Check In

8e342882-b371-434f-b688-6cde35f8bc81The holidays really through me off schedule and my weekly check in is a little late. My husband and I have been apartment hunting and we had some parties so I have not been able to cook as usual which means it is hard to track my food intake and calories or workout on my usual schedule. 

I tried my best to eat in moderation and the good news, I am finally below the 190s. I am officially down to 189; lost over 16lbs! My doctor said I needed to get to 180 so I can do any type of exercise and relieve pressure on my joints so only 9lbs left to go. I haven’t been below 190 since August so this is a great success. 

While apartment hunting, I tried two new meals – poke bowls and ramen. I have only ever had the cheap ramen. I got the ramen with vegan kale noodles and I am definitely going to try these at home.  

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I know it’s not a huge amount of weight; however, I already feel better carrying around less weight. It is getting easier to walk up steps and walk inclines. 

I know I set sneakers and a manicure as rewards. However, I decided to go with a 2020 planner instead. It’s getting closer to 2020 and I want to start the year off with a plan. 

I am grateful for progress.

90 Day Self Transformation Project – Day 23 – Christmas and Decisions

d3fe7e71-3c45-40b6-b919-865a0967d0cdA belated Merry Christmas! We had a wonderful Christmas. I made some delicious prime rib roast and got my husband to eat (and love) butternut squash. I also made our first holiday meal dairy free. My oat milk Yorkshire pudding was a bust, but I will try again and adjust the recipe. 

We then went to a basketball game and it was so much fun! Basketball is way more lively than football. I can definitely get into basketball. 

I spent the last week trying to figure out why I felt overwhelmed and what adjustments I needed to make. We made a pretty big decision. I bought my house in 2016 and my husband moved in this year when we got married. It’s not in the best neighborhood. You can’t really walk anywhere. There are no natural grocery stores within 5 miles. 

My husband and I had planned to buy a larger house in late 2020. I decided to sell my house a little earlier and we are going to move into an apartment in the city in February. I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off of me. My house was great for a while but it is so much upkeep and I just want a break and be able to have fun with my husband and not just be stuck in the house. I also love the idea of starting somewhere fresh and living in a new neighborhood. 

I am grateful for my husband and his support and decisions. 

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90 Day Self Transformation Project – Day 20-22 – Taken Down by a Cold

f8a75d0b-f638-4659-949d-8ea2218227edEveryone at work got a cold in the last few weeks, and I was happily avoiding everyone and trying my best to stay healthy. Unfortunately on Day 20, I finally got the cold. I was down for a couple of days and felt miserable. 

I didn’t get to work out much and generally couldn’t do much. In that time, my garbage disposal and washing machine broke and I really hit rock bottom. I needed to take a break from everything to reassess my life. I didn’t blog and really took a break from work turning my work phone on silent.  

I want to take control of my life and that was the catalyst for this transformation. I was out of control with food, work, friends and I just had no balance. I also have no idea what I want in life so food became my comfort. I just thought it would be easier to find a purpose. I have so much reflection and assessment to do of my life. 

On a lighter note, on Day 22, I was finally able to go outside again and had lunch with a friend at Honor Society in downtown Denver. This was the best cobb salad I have ever had. It was so yummy! They also had carrot and ginger lemonade and I need to find a recipe. 

 

I am planning to get back on my workout routine and cooking more food at home after Christmas is over.

 

I am grateful I recovered quickly from my cold and my energy level coming back.