365 Day Self Transformation Project (Formerly 90 Day) A Much Needed Break – Week 7

These last month got chaotic. I got a terrible cold for 10 days, received some negative feedback at work, got new meds for my IBS and was trying to move while prepping my house to be sold. I was stressed about staying on task to reach my goals. I also realized that much of my stress was of my own creation. I live off of my righteous anger. I would rather be stressed and riddled with anxiety than be wrong. It was a bit of an awakening for me.

I decided to take a break from the transformation work and just focus on clearing out as much self created stress as possible. I made the tight timeline to put my house on the market the week after we moved out. I can take an additional two weeks so I don’t get overwhelmed. I set incredibly lofty goals for myself, this transformation work included.

I probably should have given myself a year to reach all of the goals I set for myself. Since it’s my transformation project, I am extending to 365 days instead of 90. Goals stay the same, but now have more time to really devote to self reflection and changing my life for the better.

After recognizing that most of my stress was my own creation and devoting the time to change my perspective, I have been feeling so much happier and am able to enjoy my time with friends and family and actually be present.

In other news, although I wasn’t as dedicated to my meal prep, I weighed myself and I am officially down to 181.2! I did still track my food and ate in moderation. Despite all of the mental anguish, I have not binged since December 1!

My husband and I signed up for a 5k which falls under two of my goals – quality time with my husband and wellness. It’s on March 8. We are going to walk it and maybe in June, we will try another one but try jogging that one.

Our new place is wonderful and it was such a great decision to move. We are walking distance to Trader Joes. I am already getting about 3k more steps a day in the new place. The best thing is our new bathtub! Daily baths while reading. It is the perfect way to destress after a long day.

Hope you had a Happy Valentine’s Day! Until next week…

Low FODMAP Chocolate Chip Cookies

Chocolate chip cookies and cookie cake are probably my favorite desserts ever. I am trying hard to embrace my new Low FODMAP diet so on Saturday night I was determined to make some delicious cookies. Lately I have been making the microwave cookie in a mug but it is just not the same. I signed up for Thrive Market and got some coconut sugar, oat flour and sprouted brown rice flour (okay we get you fancy flour).

I recently downloaded the FODMAP app for my phone and it is so helpful! I also did a ton of research on gluten free baking and am not quite ready to explore the gums yet. In my normal chocolate chip cookies, I add a little corn starch, it always keeps them light and fluffy and it really worked in these too.

All of these ingredients are low on the FODMAP. However, everyone’s stomach is so different, you may need to sub some ingredients based on your own needs.

These cookies are so so amazing! Even my husband likes them and he hates cookies (a serious flaw that I can’t believe I overlook).

One note about the recipe. Keep the oil pretty cold. In my second batch, the oil got warmer and those cookies are now a little harder.

Ingredients:

  • 2 oz cold coconut oil
  • 3 oz coconut sugar
  • 1 egg
  • 1 teaspoon vanilla
  • 10 oz oat flour
  • 6 oz rice flour
  • 1 teaspoon baking soda
  • 1 teaspoon baking powder
  • 1 teaspoon corn starch
  • 1 teaspoon salt
  • 3 oz milk (I used pecan milk)
  • 6 oz chocolate chips

Directions:

  1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Line a cookie sheet with parchment paper. Place cold coconut oil and sugar into mixer with paddle attachment.
  2. Cream together for about 5 minutes. Add the egg and vanilla.
  3. In a separate bowl, combine the dry ingredients (flours, soda, powder, starch and salt) until combined.
  4. Then add dry ingredients to wet mixture and mix until combined.
  5. Add the milk. It will still be a pretty thick dough.
  6. Roll in the chocolate chips. Then shape into balls and place on cookie sheet.
  7. Bake until crispy on the bottom. I baked mine for about 20-25 minutes.

Hope you enjoy! Next week I will be trying gluten free bread.

Buckwheat Banana Muffins (Dairy and Gluten Free)

I am getting a little tired of my dark chocolate squares for after lunch. I decided to switch it up this week and make some muffins. Before last week, I had never tried buckwheat flour and was excited to put it in a new recipe.

Ingredients:

  • 3 bananas , half of another banana for garnish (optional)
  • 1 Tablespoon maple syrup (you can skip if you use ripe bananas. I can’t eat ripe bananas so needed a little sweetener.)
  • 1 teaspoon cinnamon
  • 1 teaspoon melted coconut oil or any other oil.
  • 1/2 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
  • 1 egg
  • 1 teaspoon salt
  • 1 teaspoon baking powder
  • 1/2 cup buckwheat flour
  • 1/4 cup chocolate chips (optional)

Directions:

  1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Line 8-10 muffin tins.
  2. In a medium bowl, mash the banana with a fork.
  3. Stir in cinnamon, coconut oil, vanilla and egg until well combined.
  4. Fold in salt, baking powder and buckwheat flour.
  5. If adding, fold in chocolate chips.
  6. With a spoon, fill muffin tins to about 3/4.
  7. If doing a garnish, add the banana slice to the top.
  8. Back for about 20 minutes or until knife comes out mostly clean.
  9. Let cool for about 5 minutes then enjoy or save for later.

90 Day Self Transformation Project – Day 31 – Setting Core Values

I finally got my 2020 planner in. I picked one that was goal oriented and it is a lot to fill out. There is a core values section, and I struggled with core values so much in the therapy last year too.

I like the idea of establishing core values. It takes a certain amount of self awareness to develop them. 

After much research, I set my core values as follows:

  • Balance 
  • Love
  • Security and Stability 
  • Achievement and determination
  • Family and Friendship
  • Justice 
  • Wisdom 
  • Spirituality 
  • Loyalty 
  • Personal Fulfilment 

Now I have to start setting goals which is hard when your depressed. It is hard to battle that inner voice saying you are failure why should you set goals. I am determined to complete the self awareness and goals section of the planner. I did spend $30 on this planner so I want to get my use out of it. 

I had to take a step back from my weight loss plan to focus on my mental health. I feel like I am getting back on track and will meal prep this weekend and plan my workout schedule. I need to get my sleep schedule back on track too. I have only been getting about 6 hours in the last couple of days.

Today I am grateful for my husband, my job and stability. 

90 Day Self Transformation Project – Days 29-30 – 2020

Happy New Year! My new year started with very little fanfare. Friends came over for dinner and a game night. 

I baked chicken wings instead of frying them and apparently, the secret is aluminum free baking powder. They were really good!

I had taken a break during the holidays from work and a little from my diet changes. I didn’t sway too much. No binge eating which is shocking! I am now back on the transformation train and I also have one big new year’s resolution. I am going to skip the week 4 check in and will give myself time to restart. 

I am going to do a low spend year, not a complete no spend though. I tend to compensate from one rush to another. So instead of eating food especially sugar to get a rush, I have been spending quite a bit. 

This year I will set the following rules:

  • No new clothes unless I need to replace a staple item. 
  • I can buy gifts for others within reason 
  • No limits on food 
  • No new types of makeup or skincare, only replacing
  • Definitely no new movies, books or magazines. I have so many books, some that I haven’t even read yet. 
  • No extra coffee or drinks unless out with friends or family
  • I can still do one self care activity a month and will still get my rewards if I hit my weight goals. 

I finally got my planner so will be working to get that started too and plan some more detailed goals. 

I am grateful for the new year and new opportunities.

90 Day Self Transformation Project – Days 26-28 – Dealing with Depression

Last night I had a realization that my depression was back. Usually I get very numb when depressed but this time my depression is mostly anger which has been very hard to manage. Everything puts me in a bad mood. Everything feels like a crisis. 

I am treating every relationship in my life like a burden. Thankfully, I have a very forgiving friends who understand depression. Even admitting to myself that my depression is back has changed my attitude some. At least I recognize where the anger and feelings are coming from and can accept it. 

I called several therapists this morning to try to get a new appointment and until then, I am practicing DBT with my old workbooks. 

Dialectical Behavior Therapy was helpful in the past and I spent over a year in intensive therapy learning new skills to deal with my mental illness. So I can definitely manage my depression again. I think I needed to finally accept that it is back and address it head on. 

I want to stay on track on my transformation goals and my goals will help manage my depression.

My biggest hurdle will be managing my relationship with my husband while being depressed. I have never had a major depression episode since we got married and were living together. I don’t want to ruin our relationship or impact his mental health too much either. 

I am grateful for acceptance.

Simple All Purpose Cleaner

In an effort to use less chemicals, I have been trying to homemade all purpose cleaner. I wanted something fairly simple. 

This is my very simple all purpose cleaner and it works pretty well on most surfaces. I like to let it sit for at least 30 minutes before using so the rosemary can really infuse with the liquids. It’s also really pretty to just leave out on the counter or table. 

 

 

 

Ingredients:

1 Clear spray bottle

White Vinegar

Water

30 drops Essential Oils 

1 Rosemary Spring

Directions:

  1. Add the rosemary spring to the spray bottle. 
  2. Add equal parts vinegar and water 
  3. Add drops of essential oil. I went with lavender for this bottle. 
  4. Let sit for 30 minutes then use as needed.