Last night I had a realization that my depression was back. Usually I get very numb when depressed but this time my depression is mostly anger which has been very hard to manage. Everything puts me in a bad mood. Everything feels like a crisis.
I am treating every relationship in my life like a burden. Thankfully, I have a very forgiving friends who understand depression. Even admitting to myself that my depression is back has changed my attitude some. At least I recognize where the anger and feelings are coming from and can accept it.
I called several therapists this morning to try to get a new appointment and until then, I am practicing DBT with my old workbooks.
Dialectical Behavior Therapy was helpful in the past and I spent over a year in intensive therapy learning new skills to deal with my mental illness. So I can definitely manage my depression again. I think I needed to finally accept that it is back and address it head on.
I want to stay on track on my transformation goals and my goals will help manage my depression.
My biggest hurdle will be managing my relationship with my husband while being depressed. I have never had a major depression episode since we got married and were living together. I don’t want to ruin our relationship or impact his mental health too much either.
I am grateful for acceptance.